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My story

I have been a main carer - Step mother for 7 years now . I just name myself the main carer tho as you get no appreciation or respect just being the step mum . I have two stepsons . One son and two daughters. my stepsons mother basically Wanted the single life and told everyone that my husband wouldn’t let her have her own children lol ( sorry you just have to laugh ) I mean the people that believe her are probably just as toxic as her . if That was the case wouldn’t you fight for your children , she could of took him to court with all the lottery money she won ? she Sent my husband a text asking him to have the boys more 7 years ago and said it would be permanent.. but then told everyone lies including her own children. After all this time she is very bitter and heartless. Everyone who knows her tho has told me she is very fake and they also think she is a very damaged woman but i just find it very difficult as how Can others support her behaviour . I will never forgive for what she has done to her own children and I don’t know how her own family allowed it either because children are wired to be with their mothers .. it’s part of nature it didn’t matter how good the father is.

my eldest stepson is now a 11 years old and his mother got him a mobile on contract recently that he isn’t allowed to bring here or take to school on our days , so basically he is only allowed it 10 days a month. The poor lad now has to have two mobiles, she wants him to live two separate lives, it’s crazy . apparently it is because she wants him to have privacy even tho she looks at his mobile.. she Is just clearly thinking of herself ! As she is very strange like that ! But it never gets any easier just more messed up .

12 comments

12 Comments

emmalouhall

Dec 08, 2022

Oh dear, sounds awful. She’s obviously very bitter about it all and doesn’t have the respect for you that you deserve. You are bringing up her children! Are you able to find anything good in the situation to help you refocus? I’ve had to force myself to do that as my husban‘s ex wife has been so awful to me it has a huge impact on how I react to any situation to do with her, but refocusing my energy helps a little.

emma.baverstock

Dec 10, 2022

Replying to

My 21 year old lives with her boyfriend . My 19 year old at home and my 15 year old. My stepsons are 9 and 11 years old now . The youngest was only 2 years old when his mum did what she did . Had a bad day with him yesterday actually, he had repeated something his mum had told him and started calling me a liar . I explained that I hate liars and I am a very honest person. I said life Is a lesson and we learn that to lie is a bad thing because he was like everyone tell lies ( his mother would of told him this ) and that he wants me to drop him off at his mums . He is normally very happy with me but I get maybe a episode like this once a month because of the Damage his mother has caused.

emmalouhall

Dec 11, 2022

Replying to

So difficult for you to deal with and I don’t really have any advice I’m afraid. I’m sure things will settle down as they get older. Do your bio children get long with your step children? My SD sometimes gets confused with the things her bio mum tells her, as it’s different to what we tell her, but her bio mu lies to her and always has done. Once she went on holiday and didn’t tell my SD that she had gone, but my SD FaceTimed her and asked her where she was and she told her that she was just at home. We sat there, knowing full well that she was sunning herself abroad and hadn’t wanted to take my SD with her!! It’s unbelievable.

emma.baverstock

Dec 11, 2022

Replying to

They don’t get on because my children struggle the deal with their behaviour. The eldest one has Tourette’s and acts Very inappropriate. I did try and get him help with great difficulty as I had to get letters from the school and keep going to the doctors . I finally got an appointment but his mum ruined it because she doesn’t spend any time with her children to even know them. I didn’t go because i Knew I would of probably ended up getting myself in trouble by getting angry Because she is a complete compulsive liar , she even told the doctor it was shared cared.

emmalouhall

Dec 07, 2022

Hi. This sounds very stressful and not good for your step children. Can you talk to their father about it? Do you have much contact with their mother? X

emma.baverstock

Dec 08, 2022

Replying to

No we don’t have contact , she blocked me because I told her that I’ve never met such a liar in my life but that was because she lied to me about working full time . i know how much she earns because she pays me child maintenance and she doesn’t not work full time . Plus people always see her around and she is not dressed for work at all. Then she started messaging their father knowing full well he works full time and isnt Allowed his mobile and it is me that needs the information because I do the school runs and all the childcare. So he said that she needs to be communicating with me and can she not see why . But she Is very self centred and very cold hearted, so no point really talking to her because the situation will just get stressful again and upsetting . Even tho she will still find some way of causing trouble .